da lordz praya
our fatha Who the fuck art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
thy mackdaddydom come.
thy gotta be done on earth as dat shit be in heaven.
give us dis day our daily bread,
n' forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive dem Who the fuck trespass against us,
n' lead us not da fuck into temptation,
N' therez Ain't nuthin' but deliva us from evil.
gospel o' st. Matthew 6:9-13
The Hip Hop 23rd Psalm
'Even though I walk through the Hood of death, I don't back down.'
The Lord is all that, I need for nothing
He allows me to chill.
He keeps me from being heated
And allows me to breathe easy.
He guides my life so that
I can represent and give
Shouts out in his Name.
And even though I walk through
The Hood of death,
I don't back down
For you have my back.
The fact that you have me covered
Allows me to chill.
He provides me with back-up
In front of my player-haters
And I know that I am a baler
And life will be phat
I fall back in the Lord's crib
For the rest of my life.
16:19,20 afta tha lord had spoken dude went the fuck up da fuck into heaven. Sittin' be a posture o' rest, dude had finished his muthafuckin' work; n' a posture o' rule, dude took possession o' his muthafuckin' mackdaddydom. Dude sat at da right hand o' dogg, which denotes his muthafuckin' sovereign dignity n' universal powa. Whateva dogg does concernin' us, gives ta us, or accepts from us, dat shit be by his muthafuckin' son. Naw dude be glorified wit' tha glory dude had before tha ghetto. Tha apostles went forth, n' preached every Where the fuck, fa n' nea. Though da doctrine they preached was spiritual n' heavenly, n' directly contrary ta da spirit n' tempa o' da ghetto; though dat shit met wit' much opposition, n' was wholly destitute o' all ghettoly supports n' advantages; yet in a few years da sound went forth unto da ends o' da earth. Christz ministers do not naw need ta work miracles ta prove their muthafuckin' message; da scriptures r' proved ta be o' divine origin, n' dis renders dem without excuse Who the fuck reject or neglect 'em. Da effects o' da gospel, When the fuck faithfully preached, n' truly believed, in changin' da tempers n' characters o' mankind, form a constant proof, a miraculous proof, dat da gospel be da powa o' dogg unto salvation, o' all Who the fuck believe.
====================================================================================================John 7:1-20 -
You gots heard dat it wuz said, *Ye shall not commit adultrey, 5:28 but I tell ya dat brothas who gazes at uh biotch wiff lust afta her has committed adultery wiff her already in his heart.
If ya chillin' wid ya homies, why do ya see da speck dat iz in yo' brudda's eye? but don' consider da beam datz in yo' own eye? Jigga, you bitchazz hypocrite! "Beware o' da scribes! Who like ta walk in long phat robes, an' git greetings in da marketplaces, and in da bomb seats at da synagogues, an' da tight places at feasts: bu' know not at' da love o' uf me.
"What da dilly yo? How will we enter da crib of God? Fo it iz not ice and bling bling dat' may allow chew ta enter da crib uf God. But of faith to the J to the G oh D. Wiff what whack parable will we's illustrate it? Fo' Surely da pimps, playhataz and thugz be casted down wiffin' da pitz uh Satan where he will pop a cap up dey azz. But fo' doze who be representin' me and mah fa'der will shizzle they way ta da path of da light.
Manna and Quail from Heaven
1they took their muthafuckin' journey from elim, n' all da congregation o' da children o' israel came ta da wildernizz o' sin, which be between elim n' sinai, on da fifteenth day o' da second month afta their muthafuckin' departin' out o' da land o' egypt. 2the whole congregation o' da children o' israel murmured against moses n' against aaron in da wilderness; 3and da children o' israel said ta 'em, "we wish dat we had died by da hand o' yahweh in da land o' egypt, When the fuck we sat by da meat pots, When the fuck we ate our fill o' bread, fo' yo' have brought us out da fuck into dis wilderness, ta fuck dis whole assembly wit' hunga."
4then yahweh said ta moses, "behold, i gotta rain bread from tha sky fo' yo', n' tha people shall git out n' gatha a dayz portion every day, dat i may test 'em, whetha they gotta walk in my fuckin' law, or not. 5it shall come ta pass on da sixth day, dat they shall prepare dat which they brin' in, n' dat shit shall be twice as much as they gatha daily." 6moses n' aaron said ta all da children o' israel, "at evening, then yo' shall know dat yahweh has brought yo' out from da land o' egypt; 7and in da morning, then yo' shall peep da glory o' yahweh; bcuz' dude hears yo' goddamn murmurings against yahweh. Who the fuck r' we, dat yo' murmur against us?"
8moses said, "now yahweh shall give yo' meat ta smoke in tha evening, n' in tha mornin' bread ta satisfy yo'; bcuz' yahweh hears yo' goddamn murmurings which yo' murmur against his ass. N' Who the fuck r' we? yo' goddamn murmurings r' not against us, N' therez Ain't nuthin' but against yahweh."
9moses said ta aaron, "tell all da congregation o' da children o' israel, 'come nea before yahweh, fo' dude has heard yo' goddamn murmurings.'" 10it happened, as aaron spoke ta da whole congregation o' da children o' israel, dat they looked toward da wilderness, n' behold, da glory o' yahweh appeared in da cloud. 11yahweh spoke ta moses, saying, 12"i have heard da murmurings o' da children o' israel. Speak ta 'em, saying, 'at evenin' yo' shall smoke meat, n' in da mornin' yo' shall be filled wit' bread: n' yo' shall know dat i be yahweh yo' goddamn dogg.'"
The Sabbath Observed
(Genesis 2:1-3; Hebrews 4:1-11)
13it happened at evenin' dat quail came the fuck up n' covered da camp; n' in da mornin' da dew lay 'round da camp. 14when da dew dat lay had gone, behold, on da surface o' da wildernizz was a small round thang, small as da frost on da ground. 15when tha children o' israel saw dat shit, they said one ta another, "what be dat shit?" fo' they didn't know What the fuck dat shit was. Moses said ta 'em, "it be da bread which yahweh has given yo' ta smoke." 16this be da thang which yahweh has commanded: "gatha o' dat shit y'all accordin' ta his muthafuckin' eating; an oma a head, accordin' ta da numba o' yo' goddamn persons, yo' shall take dat shit, every thug fo' dem Who the fuck r' in his muthafuckin' tent." 17the children o' israel did so, n' gathered some mo', some less. 18when they measured dat shit wit' an omer, dude Who the fuck gathered much had nothang over, n' dude Who the fuck gathered lil' had no lack. They gathered every thug accordin' ta his muthafuckin' eatin'. 19moses said ta 'em, "let no one leave o' dat shit until tha mornin'." 20notwithstandin' they didn't listen ta moses, N' therez Ain't nuthin' but some o' 'em left o' dat shit until tha morning, n' dat shit bred worms, n' became foul: n' moses was angry wit' 'em. 21they gathered dat shit mornin' by morning, y'all accordin' ta his muthafuckin' eatin'. When the fuck da sun grew hot, dat shit melted.
22it happened dat on tha sixth day they gathered twice as much bread, two omers fo' each one, n' all tha rulers o' tha congregation came n' told moses. 23he said ta 'em, "this be dat which yahweh has spoken, 'tomorrow be a solemn rest, a holy sabbath ta yahweh. Bake dat which yo' want ta bake, n' boil dat which yo' want ta boil; n' all dat remains ova lay the fuck up fo' yourselves ta be kept until tha mornin'.'" 24they laid dat shit the fuck up until da morning, as moses asked, n' dat shit didn't become foul, neitha was there any worm in dat shit. 25moses said, "eat dat today, fo' today be a sabbath ta yahweh. Today yo' shall not find dat shit in tha field. 26six days yo' shall gatha dat shit, N' therez Ain't nuthin' but on tha seventh day be tha sabbath. In dat shit there shall be none."
The ten commandments, in order, are:
“i be da lord thy dogg, thou shalt not have any strange gods before me.”
dis commandment forbids idolatry, tha worship o' false gods n' goddesses, n' dat shit excludes polytheism, tha belief in shitload o' gods, insistin' instead on monotheism, tha belief in one dogg. Dis commandment forbids makin' golden calves, buildin' temples ta isis, n' worshippin' statues o' caesar, fo' example.
“thou shalt not take tha name o' tha lord thy dogg in vain.”
da faithful r' required ta honor da name o' dogg. Dat shit makes sense dat if you’re ta ludd dogg wit' all yo' goddamn heart, soul, mind, n' strength, then you’re naturally ta respect tha name o' dogg wit' equal passion n' vigor.
“rememba ta keep holy da sabbath day.”
da jewish celebration o' sabbath (shabbat) begins at sundown on friday evenin' n' lasts until sundown on saturday. Catholic, protestant, n' orthodox christians git ta church on sunday, treatin' dat shit as tha lord’s day instead o' saturday ta honor tha day christ rose from tha dead.
“honor thy fatha n' mutha.”
dis commandment obliges da faithful ta show respect fo' their muthafuckin' muthafatha — as children n' adults. Children must obey their muthafuckin' muthafatha, n' adults must respect n' peep ta da care o' their muthafuckin' muthafatha, When the fuck they become old n' infirm.
“thou shalt not fuck.”
da betta translation from da hebrew would be “thou shalt not murder” — a subtle distinction N' therez Ain't nuthin' but an important one ta da church. Killin' an innocent person be considered murda. Killin' an unjust aggressor ta preserve yo' goddamn own life be still killing, N' therez Ain't nuthin' but dat shit isn’t considered murda or immoral.
“thou shalt not commit adultery.”
tha sixth n' ninth commandments honor huthug sexuality. Dis commandment forbids tha actual, physical act o' havin' immoral sexual activity, specifically adultery, which be sex wit' someone else’s spouse or a spouse cheatin' on their muthafuckin' partna. Dis commandment also includes fornication, which be sex between unmarried people, prostitution, pornography, homosexual activity, masturbation, group sex, buttfuck, incest, pedophilia, bestiality, n' necrophilizzle.
“thou shalt not steal.”
da seventh n' tenth commandments focus on respectin' n' honorin' da possessions o' others. Dis commandment forbids da act o' takin' someone else’s property. Da catholic church believes dat dis commandment also denounces cheatin' people o' their muthafuckin' money or property, deprivin' workers o' their muthafuckin' just wage, or not givin' employers a full day’s work fo' a full day’s pay. Embezzlement, fraud, tax evasion, n' vandalism r' all considered extensions o' violations o' da seventh commandment.
“thou shalt not bea false witnizz against thy neighbor.”
tha eighth commandment condemns lyin'. Bcuz' dogg be regarded as tha author o' all truth, tha church believes dat humans r' obligated ta honor tha truth. Tha most obvious way ta fulfill dis commandment be not ta lie — intentionally deceive anotha by speakin' a falsehood. So a wack catholic be Who the fuck yo' want ta buy a used ca from.
“thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.”
tha ninth commandment forbids tha intentional desire n' longin' fo' immoral sexuality. Ta sin in tha heart, jesus says, be ta lust afta a whore or a thug in yo' goddamn heart wit' tha desire n' gotta ta have immoral sex wit' 'em. Just as huthug life be a gift from dogg n' needs ta be respected, defended, n' protected, so, too, be huthug sexuality. Catholicism regards huthug sexuality as a divine gift, so it’s considered sacred in da propa context — marriage.
“thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods.”
da tenth commandment forbids da wantin' ta or takin' someone else’s property. Along wit' tha seventh commandment, dis commandment condemns theft n' tha feelings o' envy, greed, n' jealousy in reaction ta What the fuck otha people have.
Genesis 1 The Creation of the World
1 In da begenneng, God created da heavens n da earth.
2 The earth waz witaut fom n void, n darkness waz ova da face of da deep.
3 And da Spirit of God waz hovaeng ova da pace of da waters. e And God said, “Let der be light,” n der waz light. a And God saw dat da light waz gud.
4 And God separated da light from da darkness.
5 God ckalled da light Day, n da darkness he ckalled Night. And der waz eveneng n der waz morneng, da first day.
6 And God said, “Let der be an expanse[a] en da midst of da waters, n let it separate da waters from da waters.”
7 And God made[b] da expanse n separated da waters dat were under da expanse from da waters da t were above da expanse. And it waz so.
8 And God ckalled da expanse Heaven.[c] And der waz eveneng n der waz morneng, da second day.
9 And God said, “Let da waters under da heavens be gaderd tagedar enta one plaxe, n let da dry ln appear.” And it waz so.
l0 God ckalled da dry ln Earth,[d] n da waters dat were gaderd tagedar he ckalled Seas. And God saw dat it waz gud. ll And God said, “Let da earth sprout vegetation, plants[e] yieldeng seed, n fruit trees bearng fruit en which iz dair seed, each accordeng ta itz kend, on da earth.” And it waz so.
l2 The earth brought foth vegetation, plants yieldeng seed accordeng ta dair own kends, n trees bearng fruit en which iz dair seed, each accordeng ta itz kend. And God saw dat it waz gud. le And der waz eveneng n der waz morneng, da third day.
13 n' there was evenin' n' there was morning, tha third day.
14 n' Big G said, “let there be lights in da expanse o' da heavens ta separate da day from da night. N' let 'em be fo' signs n' fo' seasons,[f] n' fo' days n' years,
15 n' let 'em be lights in tha expanse o' tha heavens ta give light upon tha earth.” n' dat shit was so.
16 n' Big G made da two great lights—the greata light ta rule da day n' da lessa light ta rule da night—and da stars.
17 n' Ogg set 'em in da expanse o' da heavens ta give light on da earth,
18 ta rule ova da day n' ova da night, n' ta separate da light from da darknizz. N' Ogg saw dat dat shit was wack.
19 n' there was evenin' n' there was morning, tha fourth day.
20 n' Big G said, “let tha waters swarm wit' swarms o' livin' creatures, n' let birds[g] fly above tha earth across tha expanse o' tha heavens.”
21 so OG created tha great sea creatures n' every livin' creature dat moves, wit' which tha waters swarm, accordin' ta their muthafuckin' kinds, n' every winged bird accordin' ta itz kind. N' Ogg saw dat dat shit was wack.
22 n' Ogg blessed 'em, saying, “be fruitful n' multiply n' fill da waters in da seas, n' let birds multiply on da earth.”
23 n' there was evenin' n' there was morning, tha fifth day.
24 n' Big G said, “let tha earth brin' forth livin' creatures accordin' ta their muthafuckin' kinds—livestock n' creepin' things n' beasts o' tha earth accordin' ta their muthafuckin' kinds.” n' dat shit was so.
25 n' OG made da beasts o' da earth accordin' ta their muthafuckin' kinds n' da livestock accordin' ta their muthafuckin' kinds, n' everythin' dat creeps on da ground accordin' ta itz kind. N' OG saw dat dat shit was wack.
26 then Big G said, “let us make man[h] in our image, afta our likenizz. N' let 'em have dominion ova da fish o' da sea n' ova da birds o' da heavens n' ova da livestock n' ova all da earth n' ova every creepin' thang dat creeps on da earth.”
27 so OG created thug in his muthafuckin' own image,
in tha image o' Big G dude created his ass;
male n' female dude created 'em.
28 n' Big G blessed 'em. N' OG said ta 'em, “be fruitful n' multiply n' fill da earth n' subdue dat shit, n' have dominion ova da fish o' da sea n' ova da birds o' da heavens n' ova every livin' thang dat moves on da earth.”
29 n' Big G said, “behold, i have given yo' every plant yieldin' seed dat be on tha face o' all tha earth, n' every tree wit' seed in itz fruit. Yo' shall have 'em fo' food.
30 n' ta every beast o' tha earth n' ta every bird o' tha heavens n' ta everythin' dat creeps on tha earth, everythin' dat has tha breath o' life, i have given every green plant fo' food.” n' dat shit was so.
n' Big G saw everythin' dat dude had made, n' behold, dat shit was very wack. N' there was evenin' n' there was morning, tha sixth day.
Genesis 2 gangster standard version (gsv)
tha seventh day, dogg rests
2 thus tha heavens n' tha earth were finished, n' all tha host o' 'em.
2 n' on da seventh day dogg finished his muthafuckin' work dat dude had done, n' dude rested on da seventh day from all his muthafuckin' work dat dude had done.
3 so dogg blessed tha seventh day n' made dat shit holy, bcuz' on dat shit dogg rested from all his muthafuckin' work dat dude had done in creation.
tha creation o' thug n' whore
4 dem r' tha generations
o' tha heavens n' tha earth When the fuck they were created,
in tha day dat tha lord dogg made tha earth n' tha heavens.
5 When the fuck no bush o' da field[a] was yet in da land[b] n' no small plant o' da field had yet sprung up—for da lord dogg had not caused dat shit ta rain on da land, n' there was no thug ta work da ground,
6 n' a mist[c] was goin' the fuck up from da land n' was waterin' da whole face o' da ground—
7 then da lord dogg formed da thug o' dust from da ground n' breathed da fuck into his muthafuckin' nostrils da breath o' life, n' da thug became a livin' creature. 8 n' da lord dogg planted a garden in eden, in da east, n' there dude put da thug whom dude had formed.
9 n' out o' tha ground tha lord dogg made ta sprin' the fuck up every tree dat be pleasant ta tha sight n' wack fo' food. Tha tree o' life was in tha midst o' tha garden, n' tha tree o' tha knowledge o' wack n' evil.
10 a riva flowed out o' eden ta wata tha garden, n' there dat shit divided n' became four rivers.
11 tha name o' tha first be tha pishon. Dat shit be da one dat flowed 'round da whole land o' havilah, Where the fuck there be gold.
12 n' tha gold o' dat land be wack; bdellium n' onyx stone r' there.
13 da name o' da second riva be da gihon. Dat shit be da one dat flowed 'round da whole land o' cush.
14 n' da name o' da third riva be da tigris, which flows east o' assyrizzle. N' tha fourth riva be tha euphrates.
15 tha lord dogg took tha thug n' put his ass in tha garden o' eden ta work dat shit n' keep dat shit. 16 n' da lord dogg commanded da thug, saying, “you may surely smoke o' every tree o' da garden,
17 N' therez Ain't nuthin' but o' da tree o' da knowledge o' wack n' evil yo' shall not smoke, fo' in da day dat yo' eat[d] o' dat shit yo' shall surely die.”
18 then da lord dogg said, “it be not wack dat da thug should be alone; i gotta make his ass a helpa fit for[e] his ass.”
19 naw out o' da ground da lord dogg had formed[f] every beast o' da field n' every bird o' da heavens n' brought 'em ta da thug ta peep What the fuck dude would call 'em. N' whateva tha thug called every livin' creature, dat was itz name.
20 tha thug gave names ta all livestock n' ta tha birds o' tha heavens n' ta every beast o' tha field. N' therez Ain't nuthin' but fo' adam[g] there was not found a helpa fit fo' his ass.
21 so da lord dogg caused a deep sleep ta fall upon da thug, n' while dude slept took one o' his muthafuckin' ribs n' closed the fuck up itz place wit' flesh.
22 n' da rib dat da lord dogg had taken from da thug dude made[h] da fuck into a whore n' brought her asshole ta da thug.
23 then tha thug said,
“this at last be bone o' my fuckin' bones
n' flesh o' my fuckin' flesh;
biatch shall be called whore,
bcuz' biatch was taken out o' thug.”[i]
24 therefore a thug shall leave his muthafuckin' fatha n' his muthafuckin' mutha n' hold fast ta his muthafuckin' wife, n' they shall become one flesh.
n' tha thug n' his muthafuckin' wife were both naked n' were not ashamed.